Wait...Wait! Kick it up a notch!

One of my favorite programs is Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me, broadcast on your local PBS station. It’s hilarious — the program highlights current events by questioning a panel of three guests and questioning phone-in contestants. It features “games” like “Lightening Fill in the Blank”, “It’s Not My Job” and “Who’s Carl Kassel Now?”. One never knows how the guests and the host, Peter Sāgal (diacritical added for proper pronounciation), will expand on the current event and the resulting answer.

However... I wonder if the producers might “spice up” the show even more than it already is. For example, can you imagine having three of the Presidential and V.P. candidates as panelists? (Sarah Palin as the “junior” member would have to be a call-in.) Even better, have just the presidential candidates (sorry, Joe Biden!) separated by a rather animated, rather short George Stephanopoulos (of course, you can’t see on radio that he’s short...). And let the sparks fly! Every time one of the candidates starts plugging themselves, “Happy Days Are Here Again” or “Barracuda” could play at top volume to drown them out. (I’m partisan to the Democratic musical campaign theme, but the popular [Republican?] song by the group Heart would work just as well.)

Just think — we get to find out just how intelligent and humorous they are (politicians— humorous? intelligent?), better informing the public so they can cast their votes more intelligently (??) in November. Peter Sagal and company could be satisfied that they are performing important service for their country without having to go to Iraq.

Of course none of the questions would be about current events. Maybe John McCain could tell us which rap artist went wild in an airport (Conye West) or a question about a website (does he know how to use a computer yet?). I’m not sure how we could stump Barak or George, but maybe you all out in BloggerLand have some good ideas.

Another thought for panelists: Couples. That would make six on the panel, but would double the pleasure, the confusion, and maybe even the potential for greater comedy. To be thoroughly PC about it, there would be no restriction according to gender, fidelity, or species. One might ask Click and Clack (the Car Guys from another NPR [and PBS] show) or Hillary and Bill or even Big Bird and Elmo! (Elmo's been on before, so he's an experienced contestant and might give Bill and Hill good gaming advice.)

On WNYC in New York, Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me airs on AM at 1pm Saturdays and on FM at 11am Sundays. Check http://www.npr.org for your local station, or listen to a podcast or streaming audio of the program.

Bailing Out Greed

We are in a financial crisis, no thanks to our outdated, loop-hole filled financial regulatory system. Of course, we wouldn’t be in any sort of crisis if it wasn’t for the presence of one of the most economically insidious deadly sins: greed.

Oh those poor people cleaning out their desks at Lehman Brothers! My cynical pity is truly reserved for those who made lots of money sinking (in this case, literally) clients’ money into balloon financed, real estate “securities”. Most of these brokers were out to greedily make as much money as they could in the form of commissions for themselves. To say that they really cared about the company they worked for (except for caring about cutthroat competition for promotion within the company) would, I believe, be mangling the truth.

Oh those poor company Presidents and CEOs! Just think what life will be like for you without the day-to-day negotiations over your silver, golden, or platinum parachutes. Think of your loss of satisfaction, knowing that your incomplete quarterly reports which misstated profits resulted in a rise in your stock portfolio, cashed out just before the company imploded. Don’t worry though; there’s another sucker out there ready to hire you at a million times the salary earned by the truly poor clerk in the mail room.

Oh those poor Federal Regulators! Now they actually have to work for a living trying to bail out us citizens... er, I mean bail out those poor financial institution suffering from balloon mortgage hangover. It's not a bad job — regulators have to put out only every seven years or so (how biblical!) when an Enron, Chrysler, or Fannie/Freddie Mac comes along, hat in hand. Parting with our tax dollars must be heart wrenching — or does it energize you and make your heart race with excitement??

Greed cannot be stopped, it can only be regulated and prosecuted. Let’s hope that this current crisis, described by one economist as the worst he has seen since the Great Depression, will encourage tighter regulation, better oversight over our regulators, and more effective prosecution of those who twist, break, and mangle our financial laws and regulations.